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Phil's sense of humor after his surgery.




After Phil's sacral reconstruction.

 It's a beautiful fall day as we drive to see yet another new doctor at the Clinic.  Phil has an infection on his lower back from his first main surgery, his sacral reconstruction.  In the picture to your right, they removed a rib on the right side and placed it in the sacral area with titanium rods, screws, and a plate.  However, it seems as though it's just an ordinary day taking someone to the doctor for a cold.  I guess in my mind I know what needs to happen with this infection in his lower back and this has caused me to be in denial.

This first surgery, was scary enough with fear of not being able to walk, use the bathroom on his own, and even death was on our list of complications that could come from this reconstruction.  He was healthy, younger, and without all the other complications that have risen from Myeloma. Now that he is older, and has endured many more Myeloma complications such as numerous rounds of radiation, numerous cycles of chemotherapy, broken bones, kyphoplasty, a blood clot in the leg, and avascular necrosis of hips and shoulders, well, I guess you can say I am broken for what this will make him endure even more.

The surgery is still not set in stone, as this doctor that saw Phil yesterday wants to have a conference with all of Phil's doctors to get a plan of what they think needs to happen.  I did ask, "Do you think he needs surgery?", and he replied, "Yes, the hardware (meaning all the titanium in Phil's sacrum) needs to come out, it's just a matter of coming up with the plan."  Now the last surgeon who looked at Phil's back said, "I don't want to open that can of worms unless we absolutely have to for fear of all the complications that can arise.  The radiation damage to the area is extensive and the tissue is just not healthy."  So what comes to my mind, the uninvited emotion of fear.  A simple four letter word that is packed with an enormous amount of stress, sadness, fatigue, and a numbing effect on the entire body.

Today is a new day, and I am fighting that fear with faith.  It's still not in my control, but God's.  I am asking again, and always for an abundance of prayers.  We don't have any further details until the "meeting of the minds" get together and come up with a plan.  So now we are waiting in left field with fear of a line drive unsure if we can catch all the emotions alone.  We are thankful for all your support, love, prayers and encouragement.  Without them we would remain at rock bottom, sometimes we feel like we face this alone and appreciate your support to keep us standing and fighting.