Happy New Year! It has been a difficult year with Multiple Myeloma, but I am thankful he is home today. It has been frightening, exhausting, and emotional especially this past week. It really puts life in perspective when someone you love is so close to death.
He started getting a cold over Christmas weekend, however, we attributed that to his radiation to his chest that was just finished on Tuesday before Christmas weekend. They told us that his lung could get a little annoyed and he may develop a cough. Well, what started out as a little cough quickly went down hill from there.
When I took him to the emergency room his pulse ox was 88 percent, and they put some oxygen on him. Later in the ER it went down to 78 percent and he was using all of his accessory muscles just to breath. What started out as a cold, turned into full blown pneumonia, and respiratory distress. It was one of the worst moments of my life. So many things go through your mind when your not sure someone is going to make it through to the next moment in life. I remember sitting next to him at 2 am, holding his hand as tears run down my face. I said, "you bastard, your not done with this life, if you die tonight I'm going to kick your ass." I know sounds morbid, but I laughed and cried. Then something happened, he actually woke up and said, "What's wrong with you? You know I love you and your not going to kick my ass tonight." He doesn't remember this, but I know God was letting me know he was going to be OK.
Don't take life for granted, not even for one moment, an hour, or a day. Be sure to tell the people you love how you feel about them, if your sorry - say your sorry, if you love them - tell them you love them, or whatever is on your mind. I almost lost my husband this week, but I am thankful today that I can say to him, "I love you" whenever the thought occurs. Each day you wake is a blessing and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Make this year the year that you live everyday to it's fullest and love unconditionally every moment of the day, or at least as often as you can. You never know what can happen from one moment to the next, and I am thankful my moments have passed this week and he is home. May God bless you with happiness and health all year long.
Jen, you continue to amaze me. Thank you for writing this blog - it really makes the rest of us think about everything. You are a blessing to all those around you. May God bless you and Phil and the girls and miracles can happen!
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